What the fu-?
by Purple Smiles and Love
Summary: Discontinued. I'm gonna do 'Encounters with Phoebe' instead.
1. How it all started

**This idea came in to my head a little while ago, so yeah.**

**Disclaimer**

**Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Reno (my pet fish): Gloop! (translated as, "You still have to do it or you'll get sued!". I know, fish language is really efficient. And don't ask me how I can understand fish. I just can.)**

**Me: *sigh* I know, I know. Here goes. *shuts eyes tight and takes a deep breath* IdonotownRiseoftheGuardians. There. *to Reno* Happy now?**

**Reno: Gloop! ("No. I couldn't make out a single word.")**

**Me: Well, you might not have, because you're a fish, but I'm pretty sure my readers can. Oh yeah, and readers, if you're out there, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea sepleasepleaseplease no flames! And review!**

**Reno: Gloop! ("Just get on with the bloody story!")**

* * *

**500 years ago...**

Fire. All around me. Where am I? Then I know. I am in a burning house.

"Phoebe! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Who is that? Suddenly I know. It's my little brother.

All my memories come rushing back at me. Drunken people probably set fire to our little cottage. I remember racing to everyone in the house. Mother, Father, Amy, Mary, Tom and hoping that they would wake up.

I remember racing up the steps to my baby sisters cradle, when the doorway collapsed behind me. I remember lowering my sister's cradle through the window. I remember knowing that I couldn't save myself too.

I feel something warm racing down my cheek. As I raise my hand, I realise that I am crying. Crying that I will not see my family ever again. I thrust my head outside the window.

The first thing I see is the moon. So bright. So wonderful. So beautiful. How come I never noticed it before? So my last few moments are spent gazing at the moon. Then the roof collapses, and I know no more.


	2. Talking to golden bubbles of light

**Me: Hi it's me again. Time for the dreaded Disclaimer.**

**Reno: Gloop. ("You'd better do it properly this time")**

**Me: In fact, why don't you do instead, Reno?**

**Reno: Gloop? ("Why should I?")**

**Me: You should because if you don't, I will give you to the next door neighbours DOGS!**

**Reno: Gloop! ("Fine! percyjackson'stwinsister does not own Rise of the Guardians! There!")**

**Me: Thank you. Now on with the story!**

* * *

_Now..._

**Phoebe's POV**

THUMP! Ouch, I think my leg's broken. Stupid Pitch and this so-called dungeon of his. Oh, how rude of me, I haven't even introduced myself yet.

I'm, uh, y'know, _hope_. Yeah. Basically, I'm the Phoenix. Y'know, the big flamin' bird? I know, I know, Phoebe the Phoenix. But I prefer to take human form. Soooo.

Anyway, Pitch somehow managed to shove me in a sack and drag me to his lair in the middle of who knows where. I sat up and winced. The pain from my leg was excruciating.

"Just fucking fantastic," I muttered to myself as I tore a strip of cloth from my yellow hoodie. "Ow! I think one of my wings are broken too"

Yep. My human form has wings. How else do you think I get around?

"Pitch Black!" I yelled at the door. "If you don't open the door _right now,_ then when I bust out I will cover you in paper cuts and dip you in a vat filled to the brim with salt and vinegar, hanging only by a thread around your neck, then I will seal all your paper cuts with a scalding iron and tie your limbs to your own motherfuckin' nightmares, then whip them and watch them tear you apart! Now lemme OUT!"

A chuckle came from the other side of the door.

"Still full of fire, I see. Well, let's see how long you can remain that way!" He laughed the typical mad scientist/arsonist/murderer/dentist/torturer laugh.

I slumped against the prison wall. Shit. Time to ask for help...

* * *

**Jack Frost's POV**

I was in the guest room at North's factory. It was pretty nice, all blue around. _Hmmm_, I thought. _Needs something. Oh, I know!_ I started to decorate the room with snowflakes, when North interrupted my interior renovation.

"Jack! Do you know where Pitch lair is?"

"Yeah, bu-"

"Good! We need to rescue someone!"

He dragged me out of the room and into the room where the globe was kept. It looked the same except for this golden bubble hovering above the controls.

To my surprise, Tooth and Bunnymund were talking to it. Or trying to, anyway.

"We need you to stay ca-"

"Stay calm!? I'm fuckin' claustrophobic and you seriously expect me to stay in this motherfuckin broom closet of that chicken-rapin' horse-fuckin' dick-suckin' Pitch!? Do you!? Do you!?" A high-pitched voice shrieked back at them.

Ouch. That golden bubble needed to watch it's language.

However, came closer, I realized, with shock, that the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny were talking to a face in side the ball of light, not the light itself.

It was a girl. She had red hair, with streaks of gold and black, punk-style. Her eyes were plain golden. She would have been pretty save for the crazed expression on her face.

Bunnymund decided to step in.

"Right. Mate, if you can't calm down, we won't be able to help you. So stop screaming at us and take a deep breath!" He snapped at her.

Surprisingly, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

North stepped into view.

"Phoebe," he said. "Jack here knows the way to Pitch lair. He will get you out."

She opened her eyes, and asked,

"Jack as in Jack Frost? Ya know, the one who made it snow in summer?"

I answered her by saying,

"The one and only, at your service." I smirked and gave her a bow.

She glared at me.

"You have so got to learn when your season ends and my one starts. I mean, a fuckin' snowday in summer? Nuh-uh!"

"Come on! It was just a bit of fun!"

"Whatevs." She waved me off. "Now, can that guy get me out or not!?" She addressed the Spirit of Wonder.

I got really annoyed.

"You know, 'that guy' has a name, and I'd like for you to use it."

"Whatevs. Just open the door, and I'll do the rest. Phoebe, out!"

She popped the bubble, leaving me to stare at the place where it had been.


End file.
